Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Good Mommy, Bad Mommy

I found out this morning while on my favorite message board as I looked at my ticker that there are exactly 100 days left until my due date for baby 2.
I have to be totally honest, things are so much different this pregnancy. I almost feel like a bad mom to be. I guess the best way to explain it is to compare my pregnancy with Moira and this one. For all intensive purposes, I feel the same, I think I am carrying the same, and really indigestion is my only negative side effect. However, my actions are definitely different this time around.

Pregnancy 1
I took pictures of my ever expanding belly at various times throughout it's growth.

Pregnancy 2
I think the closest I got to taking a belly shot was this:

I guess you can say that my hands are usually full and the opportunities to take photos my belly are fleeting when there's an 18 month old running around.

Pregnancy 1:
I got weekly emails sent to me by Baby center dot com to tell me what exactly was happening week by week. I also found myself eagerly reading the chapters in What to Expect When You're Expecting, imagining all those things happening to my little bundle of joy.

Pregnancy 2:
I find out via a ticker on my message board that I'm 100 days away from my due date. After updating my facebook status to reflect that, and then freaking out a bit, I check out it's sister site to find out the kid is roughly the size of an eggplant, and strangely I think how appetizing eggplant parmigiana would be for dinner.

Pregnancy 1:
Bry is freaked out when Mo starts moving and he can feel it.

Pregnancy 2:
Bry is freaked out when the kid starts moving and he can feel it.

Pregnancy 1:
I take long naps after coming home from work on the afternoons I don't have grad school. I milk the pregnancy thing for as much as I can and we end up ordering out 3-4 times per week.

Pregnancy 2:
I occasionally fall asleep on the couch while Mo naps upstairs. For some reason, I find pleasure cooking more. Perhaps it's the bigger kitchen or the fact I think I'm finally getting better at it!

Pregnancy 1:
I struggle to find clothes that cover the bump, even as early as 25 weeks and also look professional enough for work. Old Navy becomes my go to store when I discover their extra large maternity t-shirts are long enough and thin enough to keep me cool.

Pregnancy 2:
I have 3 pairs of pants and a boat load of pregnancy tank tops that rotate with open hoodies. A stay at home mom wardrobe is a little less formal then a teacher's.

Pregnancy 1:
I search high and low to find the perfect gender neutral bedding. Both Bry and I engross ourselves in the Baby Bargains book and various websites trying to find the best car seat, stroller, crib, diapers, etc... to register for.

Pregnancy 2:
Baby 2 will be enjoying the same infant car seat, jumper, and crib with bedding that Bry and I agonized over the first time around. Instead of checking out baby bedding, I've been looking for bedding for Mo's single bed.
The message board I frequent teaches me two important lessons.
1. The Baby Jogger double stroller is AWESOME and worth every penny.

2. Even if you don't have a shower, (which I don't want) register again for baby 2 (or 3 or 4) for the completion coupon and put a due date a few weeks before the baby's actual due date. This way you can buy what you need with an extra 15% off.

I must confess though, I do find myself having some of the same fears this pregnancy as I did with Moira.
Will I be able to handle a newborn? I know I can, but this time, how will I do it with a toddler running around?
Moira was an easy baby for the most part. She nursed like a champ from the very first session in the hospital. What if this one isn't so easy?
I also worry that I'm not going to give Mo enough attention and she'll act out. So far, she's a really easy going kid and a lot of fun. I don't want her to go all postal on me when she has to share the spotlight.
It's crazy to think that in a mere 100 days or less, our lives are going to be turned upside again. While I do have those fears, I also can't wait to meet this little guy or gal and enjoy the ride!

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