The End

And so it happened.

Some how. Some way. Even though I tried with all my might to prevent it.  September is here.

I have never minded turning another year older. I've never been one to lie or hide my age. While thirty five seemed old when I was in high school, now it's nothing. Thirty five? Wow!

Usually I am up to celebrate, preferably with a yummy cake and lots of presents. I'll admit, I like being the center of attention. Sing to me at restaurant if you must. Scribble your name on a card. Even hand me some birthday balloons, and I'll gladly accept.

Happy Birthday to me!

However, this year, the thought of my birthday brings a little pit in my stomach. My birthday has always been the signal that summer is coming to an end. The time to prepare for back to school.

For nearly eight years, I spent my birthday getting my own classroom together. I'd still get those butterflies the few days g before. The anticipation, the excitement coupled with a small dose of worry over the pending school year would come to a fever pitch that first day.

Would there be any issues?
Would I be able to reach them all?
Would they learn?
Would they have fun?

That first morning, I would get into the school extra early. Adjusting my new outfit, ensuring desks were in perfect rows, pencils were sharpened, and the date meticulously written. Texts, workbooks, folders, crayons, glue sticks all brand new waiting for their owners.

The little bodies would meet me in the front of the school. Lined up ready to go, as parents stood along side. Wiping away stray tears, waving good bye feverishly as they shouted wishes of love and luck to their wide eyed children as they parade down the hall to their new classroom.

There's nothing quite like that first day of school!

Now, it's been some five years since my last first day. I'm now experiencing those jitters as I'm on the opposite side.

How did this ever happen?

On Wednesday morning, she will wake up extra early and adjust her new outfit. She will check and recheck her tote bag, ensuring it is filled with the new folders, crayons, scissors, and glue sticks her teacher has requested.

The excitement and energy will pulsate through our home as we ready Moira for her first day of Kindergarten. Amid anxiety, I will force her to eat breakfast as I choke back my own tears as we head off to school.

Instead of walking down the hall to meet my own class, I'll be on that other side.  Her teacher will emerge, as Moira joins in with her peers leaving me waving furiously goodbye. I will watch her disappear into elementary school, placing all my faith in her teacher.

I'll be left questioning:
Will there be any issues?
Will her teacher be able to reach her?
Will she learn?
Will she have fun?

How did we get here already?

Being on that other end, has given me a unique opportunity. I already know what magic is in store in the Kindergarten classroom. This June, she will be a totally different creature. It is inevitable as she will have grown and learned so much. Knowing this, I am so happy for Moira, but I can't help but inhale a bit deeper as I think about how quickly these five years have flown by.

So, Happy Birthday to me! This year amid the cake and presents, I'm hoping to savor these next few hours. While my birthday may be over, we still have one day of Summer vacation left, and then

Kindergarten, here Moira comes!

Checking Out, Checking In

Reaching down, I grab the gallon of milk from under the carriage. My eyes glance and meet hers.

Crap, she's awake. 

It is inevitable, that Margo would sleep the entire grocery shopping trip only to wake upon entering the checkout line.

Silently, the prayer enters my brain.

Please God, let her go back to sleep, or just be quiet while I check out.

Exhaling, my hand grabs the other plastic jug. I shimmy around the cart, and place them both on the belt. As I continue unpacking, the noises begin. At fir'. st, just grunts, but then the gasps and gulps that indicate pending unease.

Quicker, quicker, quicker, I unpack.

"Can I have candy, mama?' Maeve asks, hanging precariously on the edge of the cart.

"yeah, me too! Me too!' Mo adds, jumping up and down.

I wipe the sweat from my brow between loading the bag of apples and granola bars. Reminding the girls of the lollipops they had just enjoyed, it's coming.

The cadence of her whimpers have changed. No longer quiet, the crescendo hits the air.

Margo is done.

I am not.

"Mommy, Margo's crying!" Mo eloquently points out.

Suffocating the desire to respond, "No shit!, I take a breath in and through gritted teeth say, "I know babe. Can you talk to Margo baby while Mommy finishes with the groceries?"

"Um, nope. I'm playing with Maeve."

Again, I take another breath, listening to the compassionate voices in the aisles surrounding me. Echoes of "Poor little thing" meet equal part "I don't miss that" and a few audible sighs.

"Shush" I start, "Shush Margo Baby. We're almost done."

Her cries continue, however food remains in the cart.

"Mommy, Margo's still crying" Maeve adds, rolling her eyes from behind the cart. "She not stopping!"

"I know baby, but I have to finish putting the food out and pay." I say. "Margo will be okay."

"Would you mind if I try putting the pacifier in her mouth?" she asks.

I didn't notice her, but at some point the woman had put her cart behind.

"You'd think people would steer clear of this aisle" I joke, "you know with the crying baby and crazy looking mom."

She shares a smile, "Oh no, " she says, "I just love babies and it looks like you need a hand."

As I continue emptying the cart, I hear the nonsense talk we often make towards babies.

"You're too cute! You need to stop crying." she says to my screaming baby.

Her cries subside for a moment.

My eyes meet the lady's.

"Thank you" I say as I place the last of my groceries on the cart.

"Ah you're welcome" she starts, "I just came from a funeral. I needed this. She is so cute and she just made my day better."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry". I say just as the cries begin again and Mo grabs my hand.

"Margo's crying again, Mama!" Mo says in her sing song voice.

I look to her, just as the cashier interrupts, "M'am I'm all done".

Before Back to School

I'm not going there.

Not yet. 

You'll have to drag me there kicking and screaming. 

I'm not going to back to school yet. 

No. 

No.

NO!

Mo doesn't start school until Monday, and this last week, Bry is on vacation. One last time we can relax the week after Labor Day as next year someone will be in Kindergarten. I'm holding in the tears as I type that line. 

So, I'm NOT writing about Back to School. 

I'm not participating in this Monday Listicle the way it's meant to be. 

Instead, I'm going to share the plans for these last ten days of glorious summer we have (had) left until we're back in the school grind. 

The First Ten Days of September

The First

After a surprise bouquet of flowers, on this my birthday eve, we shared in a fabulous dinner at the Noodle Store (aka Pho Eden Vietnamese) and then dessert at Kiwi Yogurt with three of my favorite people. 

Already mastering the art of chopsticks

The Second

Happy Thirty Fourth to me! 

Brunch at the British Chip Shop with Bubbles & Squeak and then not one, but two birthday cakes. Dinner with close friends and a new necklace. 

Seriously, I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant. Jewelry is the only safe way to go.

Blueberry Velvet

The Third

Impromptu brunch with friends at a local diner, and for dessert another piece of that deliciously decandant blueberry velvet cake. 

The Fourth

Time to scour the aisles, pick up various things I never thought I needed but now know I couldn't live without, and perhaps score some Swedish Meatballs, all whilst under the guise of sofa shopping. 

or

in only one word: 

IKEA!

The Fifth

Lions and Tigers and Bears!

Oh my! 

No, we won't be viewing the Wizard of Oz. Instead throw in some Cheetahs, Zebras, Primates, and the amphibian house, and add a whirl around the carousel and we've got a fabulously planned day at the Philadelphia Zoo. 

These photos taken during our last trip in April. 

The Sixth 

One last day to ride the waves, catch some sun, and relax to the sound of the surf. 

The Seventh

Wedding day for my best friends little brother and his beautiful bride to be. Get to pull out the dress from Jeanna's wedding again, and more importantly, this reception, while I can't drink, my kiddos will be safe at home with Aunt Coll & Uncle Jo-Jo, so I get to party like a grown up!

Me & my boobs in my great dress getting my sis all ready for her big day

The Eighth

Who doesn't like to wake up for 8:30 am soccer for their four year old the night after a wedding? 

Um, we do!

Daddy & Mo last year after their last soccer practice

And for good measure, let's throw in a trip to Sesame Place after to see Jack Hanna and call it a day!

The Ninth

Our first school related function occurs during lunchtime Open House where we'll finally discover who is Mo's teacher and who is in her class this year. 

The Tenth 

Time to remake the sign and get the pretty dress all ready, school starts at 9:00!

Last year's first day

By 10:00, the doors will open and she'll come rushing out. Over brunch we'll share the details of that first day and with that summer is over. As on Tuesday the eleventh Bryan's vacation is over and by Wednesday school is back to it's usual schedule. 

Sigh.

I love summer.