Socially Acceptable Norms

When you're a kid, life is good.
Truly, you get a pass from society on things like life goals, motivation, and conversation.

This week in response to her four year son's whimpers that being a kid was tough, Stasha inspired us to write of the reasons why being a kid rocks. Having two under four, (only more 13 more days until the big Pirate fete for Mo!) I decided that these chickies get away with a lot just by being cute, and so I present:

Things you can get away with when you're 

under four and cute.

1. Rain boots go with everything 

2. Lollipops = Motivation

3. Bath time is a social event

4. Places like the zoo, Sesame Place, and the boardwalk are you playground. 

5. Adults do silly things, 

like sing about pigs on their heads, to entertain you. 

Laurie Berkner Band

6. There's always a place to nap.

7. Grandparents spoil you and think you can do no wrong. 

8. Silliness is expected!

9. No one gives you a hard time about that cupcake. 

10. Play time is all the time!

Linking up with Stasha and her Monday Listicles. 

Big Jump!

Mo has had this fear of jumping in. Two weeks ago I wrote about her hesitation, here as we showed up a week early for the new session of swimming. Apparently, her mantra worked, as tonight she jumped....twice!

Take note as she swam back to the wall, that lower lip extended out quivering. As she reached her destination she burst into tears. Not injured in anyway, I think she was emotionally overwhelmed by her accomplishment.

Way to go Mo!

About Last Night...

I am a food whore.

I will not pay full price for an article of clothes.
I don't go gaga over shoes.
I still sport my diaper bag in place of a purse.
Feel free to call me cheap when I shop.

However, tell me we have reservations and I swoon.
I read reviews for restaurants and my mouth starts to drool.
A good two top, a bottle or two of wine, and a tasting menu are perfection in my book.

Luckily, Bry shares in my bliss.
I guess it comes in handy that we're both fat and love food! (no dietary restrictions here!)
When my mom offered to babysit earlier in the week, he couldn't get onto Open Table fast enough.

We live close to Philadelphia, whose dining scene is so much more than cheese steaks and hoagies.
There are some truly phenomenal dining establishments. Iron Chef, Jose' Garces has six places, Iron Chef Morimoto has his sushi place, and then there's Stephen Starr. His places run the gauntlet from steakhouse, to Cuban, American and everything in between.

Finally, there's Marc Vetri.

He has four restaurants in the city, is working to update the city's Public school lunch program and with his own foundation, helps inner city youth understand the importance of healthy eating and healthy living.

An awesome guy outside of the kitchen, yes.
However it's the stuff he does inside which has made his eponymous place one of the most highly sought after places for a table. With a wait list of at least three months for Friday and Saturday nights, Vetri recently abandoned a la carte dining for tasting menu only. In a nutshell, his kitchen decides what each diner eats for each of the five savory, and one sweet course.

My bucket list is primarily filled with travel and dining. Screw skydiving or running a marathon. Mama wants foie gras! Vetri sits with the French Laundry, Per Se, Frontera Grill and a Joel Robuchon restaurant as my must eats.

Somehow the stars aligned this past week, when Bry discovered on Open Table one 8:45 reservation for two on Friday night.

The same Friday night my mother had offered to sleepover and babysit.

I swear it's that horseshoe shoved up his ass.

Fast forward to Friday night. After a train ride, and an early arrival, we finally are seated at our table. It's a little after nine, as I casually unfold the white napkin onto my lap. As I glance to the table in front, I spy a familiar face.

Holy shit, Bobby Freaking Flay is sitting at the table in front of us!

Seated two seats away, Michael Freaking Symon.

Who are we getting reservations at a place on a night where Bobby Flay & Michael Symon are enjoying the same menu?

Lucky mo-fos, that's for damn sure!

The highlight however, was not these chefs presence. Instead the meal itself was the stuff dreams are made.

Feel free to skim to the end if food doesn't do it for you. Otherwise, hold on tight! Here are the highlights for me. Each course was served with a half glass of wine. As is customary at Vetri, each guest is given a different plate for each course. To ensure we got to try it all,  Bry and I switched plates half way through each. This was a bit contentious with a few, as we didn't want to give them up.

Upon arrival we were given a glass of Proseco  and crudite like no other, iced and served with the most divine balsamic dipping sauce. I had to hold off Bry from  dipping in his fingers.
The highlights included the following:

Diver scallops, with shaved black truffle 
The bowl was served with the lightest potatoes and I felt it melted in the mouth.

Sweet onion crepe with white truffle
This was hands down the best thing I've ever eaten. No exaggeration, this dish had no flaws. The onions had been slowly cooked for eight hours, leaving Bry and I wondering how he did it?

Spinach gnocchi with brown butter 
A plate Bry had difficulty sharing, as the gnocchi were heavenly little pillows that dissolved in your mouth. The brown butter tasted equally divine as I used a stray piece of crust from the bread basket.

Chestnut fettuccine with boar and cocoa 
The subtle note of chocolate made the earthy flavor of the chestnut and boar sing.

Bistecca alla fiorentina 
As lover of all things steak, I was quite happy we each were given our own plate of this, thus I could eat it all.

Chocolate Polenta Souffle
Heavenly, decadent, warm and served with some sort of ice cream.

Passion fruit curd doughnuts with coconut spuma 
The sweetness of the passion fruit paired with the fried doughnuts was only made more delicious with the soft coconut flavor in the spuma.

We have dined at some fabulous places in our lives. Locations overlooking the water, places with tradition and vast menus,  decadent meals used to celebrate births, graduations, and birthdays, and drunken glutenous affairs with good friends and conversation that have lasted for hours.

While those meals all have been memorable, this was special.  It truly seemed as if the stars aligned as my mom offering to babysit, Bryan procuring a last minute seat, and our small run in with celebrity. A night spent eating some of the best food in the world with my best friend truly takes the cake as the best meal ever.

Be jealous reader, even if you aren't a food whore like me.

Dirty

Three overripe bananas sit in the fruit bowl. It has been three days since I said I'd make banana bread. The guilt of waste overcomes me, as I take out my cooking Bible, and throw together the batter. Placing the pan in the oven, just as nap time ends. I set the timer for 55 minutes and wait.

The rain subsides early in the morning, as the sun pushes its way through. Hours of sunshine dry the earth, leaving isolated puddles throughout the drive. Unusual warm weather for the middle of March, this early spring has seemed to reawaken our neighborhood. The bell from the ice cream man has rung it's familiar tune, as the shouts and laughter of the children next door seeps through our open windows.

Abandoning heavy coats and hats, for wellies and sweatshirts, they cannot exit the front door fast enough. The porch has been transformed overnight, as Bry brought up the wagon filled with t-ball set, jump ropes, and chalk, a basketball hoop, and their scooters. 

Spring has sprung, and eagerly my children have answered that call!

Alternating between chalk and the t-ball set, the two amuse themselves for nearly a half hour. Occasionally I am asked to pitch a few balls, but for the most part I can just relax and watch. Checking the clock for end time, I have five minutes to spare.

"Let's go girls," I say, "Mama has to check on the banana bread".

"Okay" they respond in unison.

"As long as we can come back out!" negotiates Mo.

"Of course, just stay right here on the porch," I command. "I'll be right back."

Opening the front door, the buzz of the oven greets me.

Perfect timing.

Removing the bread from the oven, I grab a butter knife from the drying rack. Sticking it to the dough, I pull it out to find wet batter. Setting the timer for 7 minutes, I toss the dirty knife into the sink and head back outside.

Back to the grass we go, as balls are continued to be hit. As a stray wiffleball heads down the drive, Mo spies the large puddle.

A long ago discarded pile of dirt, meant to fill in the back garden, has taken permanent residence on our drive. The puddle sits immediately to the right of the dirt. Instead of being clear, murky water lies still.

"Mom!" Mo yells, "I got on my boots. Can I jump in the puddle?"

Fidgeting with some stray mulch, I casually respond, "Sure, just be careful. We've got to go back inside in five minutes."

"I go jump!" Maeve now at my side, galloping up and down begs.

"Of course, babe! Have fun and be careful!"

" 'kay mom!" her voice trailing her body.

It only took a minute.

Maybe less.

The familiar cry fills the air.

"MOOOOOOOOMMMMM!" Mo shouts, "It's Shiny!"

Racing over those few footsteps to the side of the house, not knowing what to expect.

Maeve meets me there, at the top of the walk.

Her cry is loud, and filled with fear.

I hold back to the laughter as I spy her.

Covered from head to toe in wet, moist dirt.

Chocolate milk consistency and colored mud, runs down from her head, covering her eye, cheek, and chin. Her once pink hoodie now saturated and multi=colored, drips down onto her equally wet and dirty pants.

"Mommy! I wet! Hold you, hold you" she repeats open arms wide.

I hear the beep through the window.

Freaking banana bread is done now too.

"Mom, don't touch her! Her gross!" Mo adds to the commentary. "Maeve you gross!"

"No Mo-Mo!" Maeve cries.

While I agree with Mo's assessment, being the adult in this situation I can't agree. Instead I beg my dirty kid to walk to the porch. There's no way I'm picking her sopping, dirty body up right now.

"Stand here baby, " I begin, "Mama get you a towel!"

Entering the house, I pause.

Do I get the camera? 
God, she looks hysterical! 
The dirt, 
her face, 
her poor body, 
I need a picture of this!


It takes every fiber in my body NOT to pick up the camera and snap away.

Ever the good mom, I head upstairs, and pick up an old purple towel. Peeling the layers of soiled clothes and boots off, I strip her to her diaper.

"I dirty mommy" she says. "I bath".

"Yup" I say, as I hear that annoying beep from the oven yet again. "Sit here girls," gesturing to the bottom step,  "while I take out the banana bread."

"So mom," Mo begins. "When we go back outside?"

"What?" I yell, through the door frame.

"When we go back outside? Shiny take a bath then we go back outside, right?" she continues.

"Um, Shiny will get a bath. No more outside" I say, as I reappear in their presence. Sweeping up a dingy diapered Maeve, I start up the stairs.

"NO!" Mo screams at the top of her lungs. "We will go back outside! I not done playing!"

You have got to be kidding me?

"I dirty mom" Maeve repeats as she places her hand on my cheek. Looking at me, she insists "I bath".

"NO! We will go back outside NOW! I NOT DONE PLAYING!!!" screaming at the top of her lungs now, her body shaking with anger. The tears fall from her face, as she goes on. "I GO OUTSIDE NOW!"

Inhale
Exhale


"Shine, you need to walk up the steps right now. Mama needs to take care of Mo!" I interject between the primal screams of my eldest.

"No! No! No!" she maintains.

"Okay, mommy" Maeve responds, "Mo-Mo naughty!"

"I NOT NAUGHTY!!" she howls, from the step just below me. "I. NOT. NAUGHHHHTTTTTYYYY!"

Inhale 
Exhale

Reaching down, I grab a stray foot and arm. Lugging her up the stairs, she continues her chorus of  "I Not Naughty!" .

"Mo-Mo naughty!" she taunts, her nearly naked body runs away as I make it to the landing.

Opening Mo's bedroom door I toss her in, screaming "I'll come back and get you when you've calmed down. You need a time out and need to be out of my sight right now!"

Inhale 
Exhale


I fill the tub, and Maeve eagerly enters. Having the space alone is a novelty, as usually she must fight for access to the spigot. Mo's rants slowly fade away and within minutes the only sound is the water flowing. Turning it off, I head to Mo's room slowly. A body part has hit the door with a thud, as I reach for the knob.  Who knows what is going on in there now?

Inhale 
Exhale

I enter the room to discover my nearly four year old, stripped completely naked.

Between fits of laughter I ask, "What are you doing? Why are you naked?"

"Um," she starts, "I didn't want Shiny to take a bath all by herself."

"Get in the tub!" I command, as her naked body streaks across the hall into the bathroom.

All clean now and ready to jam!

Just Play

In honor of International Women Week and the fact that March is Women's History month, the Land of Listicles is dedicated to this topic. Our lovely leader, Stasha has given us carte blanche to go forth with this topic in any way we see fit.

This topic rings especially poignant as it is the fortieth anniversary of Title IX  later this year. Not only did Title IX give me, a female athlete a chance to play, but it also made huge strides in gender equity in athletics, schooling, and the workforce. My girls will never know a world where they couldn't play. Here's a great list of the impact of Title IX.

In that regard, my list is dedicated to women in sports.

10 Reasons Why Girls Need to Play

1. To learn the dynamics of being part of a team.

2. To find perseverance when things are tough.

3. To establish a routine 

4. To dedicate time and energy through practice.

5. To develop positive self esteem and body image.

6. To realize one's strength.

7. To challenge gender roles and stereotypes

8. To inspire future leaders. 

9.  To learn to lose gracefully.

10. To relishing that sweet taste of victory. 

Interested in more information about girls in athletics? 

Check out these sites:

Women Win

National Assosciation for Girls and Women in Sports

Women's Sports Foundation

Gifts

They say everyone has a gift.

That special something that makes them stand out from a crowd.
For myself, I assume my writing and patience (with other people's children). While Bryan has near photographic memory and excellent navigational skills.

My best friend Ashley is a fantastic photographer, however her other skill only comes to play on special occasions. I assume there are others who have this gift. I do believe they are a limited breed. Some try to replicate this unsuccessfully or with limited success. My sister, for example, tries but has yet to duplicate.

What is this gift, you ask?

Why, dear Ashley has the super human ability to choose the most original and fascinating presents!

While this does not seem too big of deal at first, take a moment to think back to the last function you attended.

Were there any gifts received that stood out for originality or function?

Did the recipient seem to favor one gift over all the rest?

Chances are, if Ashley is at a function, it will be her gift that takes the cake!

For example, this past Christmas, Mo and Maeve received personalized pillowcases.
Not just their names, THEIR FACES on the pillows!

Mo with Mo

For our wedding, Ashley found a print of our reception site and had it framed. Not soon after Moira's birth, a framed sketch of a newborn Mo arrived courtesy of Ashley.

To say, I enjoy being the recipient of these gifts is an understatement. 

The gift that seemed to get the biggest reaction was at my baby shower. 

The collective swoon of the room was audible from the outside as I unwrapped her gifts. 12 items from bibs to Easter basket, frames to sleepers, for the 12 months of the year.

Perfection!

Bry, my enormous belly & boobs, and me opening presents.

It has been four years since that shower, and I will admit, that gift made quite the impression on me. I kept that idea deep in the recesses of my brain, hoping to copy it for someone myself.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, so Ash remember that!

Our good friends Lynsay & Steve are expecting their first baby, a little boy, the end of April. 

They are a fun couple, as evident by the photos below. 

As I searched her registry, Ashley's gift to me slowly crept its way into my conscious.


Do it Jackie! Just do it!

My brain seemed to say.


She'll appreciate that you liked her idea. 


Lynsay will love it! 


The other guests will love it too!


You'll be that one that gives the gift that people talk about. 


Yes, that was part of the motivation for this gift.
Other guests will talk about it, perhaps even copy it themselves.

Remember how I'm a bit of party planning nut?
Apparently something rubbed off onto me as with this shower I went a bit overboard! My enthusiasm for party planning was somehow transferred into this gift. 

In the end, fourteen books and various gifts were collected as I started at birth and ended with first birthday.

The Books for the Year

April: Birth
May: Mother's Day
June: Father's Day

July:  Fourth of July
August: Beach
September: Phillies

October: Halloween
November: Thanksgiving
December: Christmas

January: Eagles/Snow
February: Valentine's Day
March: St. Patrick's Day

April: Easter
First Birthday

To package it all, I purchased a tub at Five Below. Wrapping each gift, and adding a numbered card to the front, I ensured she unwrapped them in the correct order. 

I could have left well enough alone. It was adorable. The colors coordinated with the baby's nursery. 

But no, 

I had to keep going. 

I had to write something.

Okay, I had to write fourteen somethings. 

For each gift I wrote a little rhyme, and at the shower made her read each aloud. 

Yes,

I'm that crazy, neurotic person, spending way too much time and putting forth way too much energy towards a baby shower gift. 

And as a result the gift was appreciated. 

Who am I kidding? 

It was a huge hit and most definitely "The Gift" of the shower. 

Sorry ladies, I did love those Polo onesies Sarah and the monkey hamper was adorable!

As Lynsay was unwrapping, I fielded a few questions.

"Is that from pinterest?"

Nope.

"Did you find it on a blog"

No.

"What a fabulous idea!"

Thanks (under my breath Ashley!).

"You should totally pin it!" 

Plan to!

"I think you should blog about it!"

If only you saw me in my dining room taking pictures a few hours ago as I wrapped this sucker, you'd have realized that a blog post was under way.  

"I totally am going to steal this idea!"

Feel free, I already did! 

For a list of the books and rhymes click HERE!

And if a function comes up and you find yourself unsure what to give. Drop me and email and I'll ask Ash. I bet she has a great idea!!

Ash & Jac
March 2008

Timing is everything

"I promise I will jump in Mama!" Mo's voice repeats the phrase again.

It has been her personal mantra this past week since her last swim class. Willing herself to do it. Attempting to gather her courage and make that leap off the side into the waiting arms of her swim instructor.

She's not usually like this.

In the nearly four years of her life, physical activities have been quite easy for her. Walking before nine months, (I do not exaggerate)jumping with two feet off the ground before her second birthday, and at soccer clinic this past fall, being mistaken for a five year old as she threw shoulders and dribbled the ball like the best of them.

She's good at physical things.

Swimming is different.

She has to work at it, and I don't think she likes that.
Bryan's DNA taking over there. 

With her first session of swim lessons behind her, confidence in the water has slowly been gained. No longer does that half frozen smile seem pasted on her face, as her visibly tense shoulders and arms cling to Miss Theresa for dear life. Instead, she kicks with strong legs, paddles her arms left and right, and amazingly at the last lesson this session even put her entire face in the water, on multiple occasions.

Maeve is a different story.

This kid loves the water, almost to a fault.

On one of the first classes I made the mistake of trying to slide in down the ladder while she sat on the wall waiting. In the time it took me to descend those three stairs, she had stood up and jumped in. Luckily, my cat like reflexes were able to pull her up before any permanent drowning occurred.

Imagine the lifeguard having to intervene during a parent child swim class?
Only me. Only me.

As the ten weeks came to an end, our Monday night ritual had been too much for me, alone. Undressing, suiting up three bodies, in the water it was Maeve and I together, while Mo swam with her teacher. Bathroom breaks in a sopping wet bathing suit, returning back to the water trying to keep everyone alert and paying attention to their respective teachers, then showering, dressing after.

It wiped me out!

So, as enrollment became open for the new session, it was decided that we would switch to what we would hope would be the leisurely pace of a Sunday early evening class. Since it's Sunday, Bryan would be home!

I was swept away thinking of how fabulous it will be to have an extra set of hands to help, that extra body in the water with Maeve so I could actually watch Mo, that I overlooked a major issue.

We piled into the minivan, all six of us. Bags packed with bathing suits, swim diapers, and towels as Grammie & Popsie eagerly awaited seeing their grand babies swim.

Sitting in the back row, I began talking, "Remember Mo, this is a new session, so Miss Theresa might not be your teacher."

"It's okay Mama!" she said, "I still gonna jump, right Popsie?"
"Oh Mo," he began, "you're so brave! I know you can do it!"
"Jac, we're making good time!" Bry started. "You know next week we don't have to leave so early."
"It's okay!" I said. "Better to be early then late."
"Grammie, I'm gonna jump!" her mantra continues. "Will you be proud?"
"Oh Mo!" she gushes, "Of course! You're the best kid in the whole wide world! Popsie and I can't wait to see you swim!"

Pulling into the parking lot, the clock grants us a seventeen minute reprieve. Plenty of time to undress, suit up, hit the bathroom before swim lessons.

Bryan disappears into the men's locker room as my mom follows the girls and I into the ladies room. Having that extra set of hands is a dream, as we quickly and without fight get everyone ready for swim lessons.

Onto deck with march, our six pack, ready for the day.

Ten minutes to spare. Apparently this new day and time will be grand!

"I'm gonna jump, Daddy!" Mo says, looking up to him as she grabs his hand. "You gonna watch me do it?"
"I'll be right in the water next to you dude," he says. "I'll see it! I promise!"

Eight minutes until time, as the class before begins their final jumps.

As a toweled child walks by with their parent, I notice a piece of paper in their hand.

Could it be? I think.
No. It's not a certificate.
Not a completion certificate.

It's the first day of class, so why would they have these papers?

Five minutes until class time.

Miss Becky, Maeve's instructor from last session walks by, a smile on her face as Maeve waves frantically.

"Hi Maeve!" she says.

"Hi!" Maeve nervously mutters then smashes her face into my thigh.

"Sorry we had to switch classes, " I begin. "It just will be easier on Sundays since my husband is here".

Her smile wanes.

"You know the new session starts tomorrow right?" she asks. "Today is the last day of this session."

"You got to be kidding me!" Bry says, between eye rolls.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"YEAAAAHHHH!!" Mo cannot contain her glee, as she looks to Popsie, "I don't got to jump in today, Pops!"

Her excitement is plastered all over her face.

"That sucks!" I say.

Becky offers a "Sorry" while walking away.

"Well, I guess no swimming today." I say. "I guess we'll be back next week!"

"No pool?" Maeve asks. Her eyes begin to tear.

"Sorry, Shine. Mama and Daddy messed up!"

"No kick, no pool? Swim!" she says again, this time between tears.

My heart breaks as Bry says, "Daddy got it all screwed up! How about we go to the noodle store?"

"NO, POOOOOOLLLL!" she is heartbroken, as she throws her swim suited body on the wet pool deck.

Meanwhile, Mo has already gotten my mom to bring her back into the locker room.

"Grammy, next week I'm gonna jump in!"

Sure, Mo.

Next week.


Linking up with the fabulous Yeah Write Challenge!
Be sure to vote on Thursday!