Sunday, April 27, 2008

Almost 4 weeks!

God, I can't believe Moira has been alive already for almost 4 weeks! The time has flown by. Really, it's a fog, a haze, a blur. THe idea that May begins later this week is crazy. I guess when you're sleep deprived everything is a blur! I know I've already wrote about my lust for sleep- twice, but really that's what's kicking my butt more than anything. Mo likes to sleep in the swing. I should rephrase that, Mo LOVES to sleep in the swing. We have to physically shake her (not shaken baby shake) to wake her up from that deep slumber. Now, to the Boppy pillow- the horseshoe shape pillow that I use for feeding. She'll sleep nicely in that too. Not as soundly as the swing, but pretty comfortably. The carseat also serves as a good place for Mo to catch some ZZZ's. However, the bassinet, the only "real" bed, she will sleep at most for a total of 20 mins. WTF?!?!

Being a parent is tough. Trying to decide what decision will have the least long term negative effects this early on is a tough. Pacifier or not? Swing at night to sleep or not? Hold her in bed or not? I know years from now I'll probably look back on these "decisions" and laugh, but right now...lusting for a few hours of "good" sleep, they seem pretty damn important!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sleep, How I missed you so!

I guess my rant yesterday about lacking sleep and Moira being a Diva worked. She was an angel last night!! I never thought 6 hours of sleep (spaced out of course) could make me feel so refreshed! I have to say, I feel so much better today than yesterday. I've already showered, ate breakfast, fed Mo, changed her, and watched a little Price is Right! We're heading out to BJ's today. (I know, big deal!) I still have a paper to finish for class on Wednesday. My fantastic parents have agreed to babysit on Wednesday so that I can go to class. I only have 2 classes left and then I'm FINISHED! Graduation is May 22. Moira will be 7 weeks old by then. I bought her the most adorable Rutgers onesie to wear. I have to find a red or white bow for her hair. Because we didn't find out her gender, we have a lot of yellow and green clothing in newborn and 0-3 months. This means I'm constantly telling people that "It's a girl" or "HER name is Moira". I love her in yellow, but I guess that it's still considered gender neutral. I think it's totally little girl color. I'll have to remember that next time I go to a baby shower.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sleep...Oh How I miss you so!

I have always been a person that needs sleep. Just ask my sister about the years when I was in high school and she had the unfortunate responsibility of attempting to wake me up in time for school. It was UGLY! So, now, here I am living off of fumes. This kid was a great sleeper the first 15 days of her life. I'm talking she would sleep for 3 hours straight! I knew she was my kid. Like mama, like daughter...or so I thought! The real DIVA has emerged. She no longer likes to sleep in the pack and play. The same pack and play that she had slept in for 4 hours one night, now is the enemy. I think if she could laugh at me, she would when I attempt to place her in it at 4 am. Not that cute laugh, I'm thinking that diabolical laugh you hear from the Joker in Batman or other villians. She is totally playing me, and Bryan. She'll sleep in the Boppy pillow for an hour or two. Of course in huge, bold, caps it reads SLEEP with the circle and the line through it. Really, Boppy company? Babies aren't meant to sleep in it? Why then did you make it the perfect size and dimension for a sleeping newborn?? Why Boppy company, must you toy with us first time parents who are so sleep deprived we are willing to sleep at any and all hours? WHY? F-IT! So call the division of child services, Moira is sleeping soundly in the Boppy even though it tells you not to. I'm guessing that this is going to be the first of many ill decisions I will make a parent. BRING IT ON, after I take a nap of course!

Monday, April 14, 2008

A Reflection on Pictures

When someone has a new baby, everyone brings their cameras! It's a known fact, everyone wants their picture taken with the adorable new baby.

Moira has been alive just short of two weeks. Our home has been bombarded with various guest hoping to see the new baby. We have never had so many people here...NEVER!. So far, she has had her picture taken by Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, parents, hospital photographers, and friends. She has been passed around cuddled and coddled, as they shoot their flashes off at the adorable baby. Grandmom and Mo, Grandpop and Mo, Uncle Joey & Mo, etc... I too have had my camera out taking photo after photo of my beautiful daughter and these special people, but do you know who I have forgotten??? MYSELF! I have over 175 pictures on my digital camera since Moira has been born and I think there are all of 3 photos of my daughter and I!!! If you count the green from my sweatshirt or the teal from the hoodie in the hospital, then maybe that number goes up to 8. THAT's IT! I guess that's something I have learned as a parent. I am no longer important to photograph, I am simply the person behind the camera.
Maybe I should get Bryan to take some shot of the two of us together. (Mind you, there are at least 15 pics of Mo and Bry!)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

What day is it again???

It's so weird to look at my calendar and think there's really nothing I "HAVE" to do. (Except that paper for grad class, which is "DUE"). Lynsay came over today and brought cheesecake from the cheescake Factory. YUMMY! Adam's cheesecake whatever that is includes peanut butter, and chocolate chips and cheescake and every morsel was delicious. I guess I should start watching what I'm eating more. I guess, I am to an effect, I'm watching the food enter my mouth. Me WATCHING food as I eat it.

I also realized that since my schedule is 100% dedicated to Moira, I have no real reason to know or for that matter, even care which day of the week it is. Having Bryan home this whole week only adds to the confusion. I keep waking up thinking it's Saturday since Bryan is still sleeping, but I'm wrong. Today is Wednesday. The reason I even care to know this is related to television. Today is Wednesday which means 10 O'Clock, BRAVO Top Chef! YES!

Well, I think 6 O'clock is the perfect time for a nap with my baby. Again, how cute is she?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Birth Story...The long detailed juicy version

April 1, 2008

5:30 am - labor pains start- 10 min. apart Should I wake Bryan up? Nah....the guy is going to freak out anyway. I figure I'll be a good wife and wait until the alarm goes off at 7:30 to tell him. I toss and turn. Could this really be it? How perfect it would be to have a kid on April Fool's Day.

7:25 Alarm Beeps, Bryan presses snooze, I take a deep breath and wonder how long to wait

7:33 am Snooze goes off, Bryan attempts to hit it again and I interject- "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" That wakes him up. "The good news" I say, "is this is not an April Fool's Joke. The Bad news, is I think I'm in labor". After explaining that my contractions are 10-12 minutes apart, Bryan instructs me to call the OB. Of course, the office opens at 8, the phone system is suppose to be on, but there's some sort of glitch. Finally, Bryan takes the phone, uses 411 to get through and I speak to the on call nurse. She asks for information and tells me to wait as the doctor will call me back.

7:45 am - The doc calls back. "How many minutes are the contractions apart? How are you feeling? Did you water break yet? How would you rate your level of pain?" My mind races. I spurt back, "About 9 minutes apart, I'm a little nervous, no water yet, and my pain?!?" I have no idea? It's tolerable, uncomfortable, but tolerable? Is that the right answer? SHIT! I'm the mom to be that doesn't know if she's in labor or not! CRAP, I think. I respond, "Ah, my pain isn't too bad especially if I'm walking around". The doctor immediately says "wait until the contractions are between 5 to 6 minutes apart for at least an hour and then to come to hospital, unless the pain gets to be too much. Good luck!" Dead air on the phone!

I gulp and spit back all the information the doctor says. Bryan seems calm...almost too calm.

For the next few hours we keep record of all the contractions. (We being me, Bryan showers, uses the toilet, dresses, goes on a breakfast run to McDonald's, and then suggests we head to the hospital!)

10:45 am -Arrive at the hosptial after making the 50 min drive to hospital. With paper and pencil in hand I continue to mark all the contractions. They're now coming about 3 min. apart and I know the baby is coming today! YEAH!

10:46-10:55Waiting Room in Labor and Delivery. Let me just say, there are a lot of morons out there reproducing! Some wackadoo who is 25 weeks pregnant is sitting at the triage area about some car accident she had been in the day before! Meanwhile, I'm waiting and contracting to be triaged and taken in! Hello...anyone...I'm in labor...every 3 minutes....and this winner is discussing how she is pissed about having to pay insurance! UGH!

10:55 am- I am getting pissy and I am in pain! I bust in the middle of the conversation asking when the plan is to bring me back. The intake worker looks at me and said "the doctor says you have plenty of time!". I'm sorry, the doctor hasn't even seen me yet. Then, the car lady looks at me and says "Wow, are you in labor? I didn't realize the babies are born on this floor?". Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, this woman did not realize on the Labor and Delivery floor women go into "Labor" and then "delivery" their babies! Thank God some assistant sees me making raging faces and takes my information and brings me back to a triage room.

11 am - 2:30 pm- They ask me to change into a gown. The first gown is too small and I have a lovely part of side boobage and my hip hanging out. I honestly don't care at that point, because I just wanted to know how far I've progressed. It takes Bryan reminded me that I may be walking in the halls that I may want a larger gown. The nurse gives me a gown that fits and we wait. M

The doctor finally comes in to check after about 45 min. My contractions look good on the maching but I'm only 1 cm dialated! You've got to be kidding me! The contractions are still 3 min. apart, and I'm 1 cm. CRAP!

2:45 pm - I'm still waiting in triage. Will I stay or go home? The doctor mentions that the baby's heartrate is pretty consistent but doesn't elevate during contractions. The OB tells us that today is the day and since he doesn't like what he sees and hears, they admit me. Bye, bye Triage....Hello Labor and Delivery!

2:50 pm- Another internal exam upon entering the L&D room. Meet our nice nurse Maureen, who will be with us until her shift is over at 7. Bryan makes the calls: Jeanna, my parents, his mom. It's a go...I guess!

Maureen positions me on my side, with both the contraction monitor and infant heartrate monitor velcroed on. The contractions still are 3 minutes apart. I keep grabbing Bry's hand every contraction. It was so much less painful earlier when I could walk around! I hate lying in bed! UGH!!!!

3:30 pm - F---ing Contractions! Lying in bed, strapped to monitors with pain running up and around my belly and back every 3 minutes is so uncomfortable. I keep telling Bry, if I could walk, it wouldn't be too bad. Maureen explains that I need to stay attached the machines! F--K! Finally, after laboring on bed w/o meds for 4 1/2 hrs every 3 minutes w/o being able to walk, Maureen mentions the "E" word. "Do I want an epidural now??" HELL YEAH and I leap at the chance for an epidural! By this time I had progressed to 3 cm and my water still had not broken. Sometime between now and 4 Jeanna comes. Thank God for her!

About 3:33 pm - AAAAHHHHHHHHHH, RELIEF! Epidurals are AMAZING!!!

3:45 pm - During my last internal, I overhear the resident eagerly mention that she looks forward to breaking my bag of water. As she gets in place at the foot of my bed w/the knitting needle (okay, it's not really a knitting needle but it sure looks like one), I pray in my head "clear water...not meconium....clear water...not meconimum". I guess my lack of church attendance kicked me in the ass, as the doctor says "meconium present." This is not good! She explains what this means and then exits the room to see other patients. Bry and I q & A Jeanna. She answers all our questions and gives us some idea of what could happen during actual delivery when meconium is present. Again...F--K....Meconium!

3:45- 9:15 pm- As I continue to labor with the epidural, the OB, nurse, and resident notice inconsistencies w/baby's heartrate. Babies are suppose to have their heartrates elevate during/after a contraction. Our baby's heartrate stays the same. Ocassionally, the baby's heartrate dips after the contraction. Heartrate decells are not good. What is going on with this kid? The doctor casually mentions the possibiliy of a C-Section around 4:30 and they ask me to take off my jewelery just in case. Crap, I don't want to be cut open... I don't want a c-section! This is not part of my BIRTH PLAN!
I really don't have a birth plan, I'm just not keen on the idea of being cut wide open!
During this time, the doctors begin this
wonderfully enjoyable process of head stimulation which occurs every 30 minutes. No, they aren't stimulating my head. Every 30 minutes, either a doc or resident will come in, glove up, and then perform an internal exmaination where they will reach up to stimulate the baby's head. Thank God for the Epidural, because there is no way I would want to have felt that!

9:15 pm - The doctor and resident come in to take part in another head stimulation. After they notice that baby's heartrate drops then comes back up. I've only progressed to 5/6 cm, and the OB thinks that in the current state, it may be over 10 hours for the baby to come out vaginally. Furthermore, she is nervous about the baby's heartrate. She decides to do a c-section. I sign the papers and get ready to meet my baby.

9:20 pm- I start to cry. I'm scared out of my mind. Where did these nine months go? Am I ready for this? What is soemthing happens to me or the baby? God, I'm scared! Jeanna, in the meantime, breaks out in hives while my husband puts on brave face. As I'm wheeled into the OR, tears are streaming down my face and I notice Jeanna's hives. I then tell her everything will be okay. I hope I honestly believe it.

9:20- ON SURREAL!!!! The time in the OR goes by quick yet slow. They have me lying on the table, with my torso exposed and my arms spread out. The up the epidural and I start shivering. As I look up, all I see are masks and eyes. Eyes of people I don't know. God, where's Bry? I need him!

They bring Bry in to the OR. He looks hysterical because they ran out of XXL gowns, so he's wearing a cap and face mask, and then his polo, kakhi shorts, and sneakers. I'm much as I can be now that he is there.

9:49 pm - They pull and tug and before you know it...."It's a girl!". I have a daughter, I am a mom! Moira Ann is born via c-section weighing 8lbs. She is 20 1/2 inches long, and has a set of pipes on her. There are no ill side effects from the meconium or the heartrate decells. It just appears that our little girl is already a diva. We are in love!

The rest of our hosptial stay.....Moira takes to breastfeeding like a champ that very first night. She also is a poo machine! Overall, we are blessed and so lucky to have such a beautiful and healthy and smart little girl.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Birth Story- Short version

April 1, 2008

5:30 am - labor pains start- 10 min. apart

7:45 am - call doc, she says wait until 5/6 minutes to come to hospital

10:45 am - make the 50 min drive to hospital, contractions coming about 3 min. apart

11 am - 2:30 pm- remain in triage area being monitored, do I stay or go home? Contractions still 3 min. apart, Dialated 1 cm.

2:45 pm - Dr. doesn't like what he sees, decides to admit me

3:30 pm - After laboring on bed w/o meds for 4 1/2 hrs every 3 minutes w/o being able to walk, leap at the chance for an epidural!


3:45 pm - Break bag of water, meconium present- not good!

3:45- 9:15 pm- Continue to remain in labor w/epidural. OB doc and resident notice inconsistencies w/baby's heartrate. C-Section mentioned as possibility. Head stimulating occurs every 30 minutes. (Read more about this in the Long version!)

9:15 pm - Baby's heartrate drops then comes back up. Progress: 5/6 cm. Potential risk to baby increases, OB decides for c-section

9:20 pm- Sister breaks out in hives, Husband puts on brave face, as tears stream down my face as I'm rolled into OR

9:20- ON SURREAL!!!!

9:49 pm- Moira Ann is born via c-section weighing 8lbs. She is 20 1/2 inches long, and has a set of pipes on her. The moose really isn't too big of a moose after all, though she is strong as anything. Mommy and Daddy are immediately smitten!