Friday, March 2, 2012

The Duel

The fan above the stove turns its familiar tune, as I slowly and methodically cut onion. The chicken is frying away. The knife easily slices, as the pieces take over the cutting board, while my sister continues to write feverishly. Her hands stops abruptly.

"Jac, I think I heard something" she says.
"Of course you did" I casually mutter continuing to chop. "It's probably Mo."
"Should you get her?" she asks, abandoning her list, showing concern. 
"Why?" I say. "She'll be down in 10 anyway". 

I dump the onions in the pan as the sound of the sizzle temporarily hushes the footsteps on the floor above. 

She is awake. 
It's 2:30 pm and she's not napping.
Hell, she never fell asleep. 
She's almost four years old, and she's done with napping. 

F--k me.

Believe me I haven't given up this easily. There's been kicking, screaming and crying.
Moira has even done the same.

I've been stern mommy.
Lecturing in my most serious tone with smug face,
"Moira Ann, (of course using her first AND middle name adds to seriousness) you need to nap. When you don't I'm  you're tired, I'm you're cranky, and I'm you're miserable! You need sleep to grow!"


I've been bargaining mommy.
In my most pleading and sincere voice, with a fake smile pasted across my face, "Okay Mo, if you take your nap, mommy will give you your sticker! Remember," adding some more fake enthusiasm here "only a few more stickers and you get your surprise! So take a good nap!"

She didn't buy that either.

I've tried peer pressure
"You know Mo, Alixandra still naps for Miss Danielle".

I've tried bribery.
"Listen kid," I plead, "take a nap and you can watch whatever you want...or I'll let you help me bake cookie... or even" gulping as I mutter it, "we can play play dough! Whatever you want, just sleep!"

After responding with the same, "Okay, mommy" sometime later those footsteps are back, cringing as I hear that door open. "Mommy, I AWAAAAKKKKKEEE!"

Of course you are.

My DVR is full. I have some blogs and books I'd like to read, I'd like to pee with the door shut, and frankly, I could use a nap, but not today. Not anymore.

Nap time is over.

Nap time is over and I didn't even get any say in it.

This kid is growing up and with the abandonment of nap time I realize how much less baby and more kid she has become. This has happened way too fast for my own liking.

Kids have this way of growing up, in what seems like overnight. One moment they go from these needy, helpless little creatures to the next as fiercely independent, self assured and AWAKE people.

So as I ready myself for this hurdle of losing nap time, I beg my baby girl to slow down a bit. I continue to encourage her return to her room for daily rest time. Because on occasion, the footsteps are missing as she gives in to that nap. Still not completely a big kid, I'll be holding on to that for a little bit longer. I'll savor those quiet moments cramming in some of my own shows on my DVR in between.


  1. This ia a great post, including the perfectly chosen title. I remember when my girls were done napping and that nagging desire for much needed alone time. I also remember the day I dropped off my youngest WITH the oldest for the first day off school and came home to an empty house and that nagging desire to have them home again. Now my oldest comes home from school and has to be coaxed from her room. I miss her doing homework at the table. Time certainly flies. But that doesn't mean your desire for time is wrong, it means you are human. ;)

  2. Love this post and I can totally relate. Losing nap time is like losing a close friend. I think I was in mourning for a while after my son quit taking naps - at 2 years old! I would so envy other moms who still had time for themselves in the afternoon. It's so hard too when the kids are cranky and you know they need to sleep and all you can think about are all the other things you need or want to be doing. They do grow up fast though, hang in there. I know your pain :)

  3. Love your writing Jackie. I mourned the end of nap time with all my being.


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