Thursday, April 9, 2009

Real Confessions of Notwifezilla- It's about time!

As I was driving to my parents' house today, I was thinking about this blog. I was thinking how the title is "confessions of notwifezilla" and really, I haven't confessed anything. I have basically given more of a play by play of events that have occurred in certain situations or uploaded pictures and labeled them.
Have I really confessed anything?
Well, with that, I thought what could I confess? What secrets have I withheld? What do I need to share?
I came up with the idea to make a list.
I am a list person. I have little pads of paper left over from Bry's old job and on these pads I create lists. Lists of groceries, people who need thank you cards, addresses, lists of photos to order, etc. etc.
A list is really me.
I was going to go with the great "Good things about being a mom" but then I figured I might as well go both ways. The good and then bad things people don't tell you about being a mom.
So here it goes. Let me know what you think.
1. Labor and delivery are nothing like the movies. Whatever you think you'd want to happen, it won't come close.
2. Having a c-section actually has some perks. Good drugs, less bleeding post-partum, and your kid doesn't have a cone shaped head.
3. Recovery from a c-section is different for everyone. For me, it wasn't too bad thanks to the Oxycontin and walking. I did learn not to mix Oxycontin and orange juice on a empty stomach.
4. People will have an opinion on every little thing you do/want to do/ don't want to do, usually with conversation beginning "if I was you I'd...", or "I'm not telling you what to do but...".
5. In response to number 4, it's easier just to nod and then do whatever you want anyway.
6. Most of those things you say you'll never do with a newborn, you end up doing anyway. After saying I didn't want Moira to have a pacifier, I caved within 48 hours after she used my nipple as one. I also think I would have co-slept more if Bry wasn't terrified that he would roll over and crush her in his sleep.
7. For me at least, breastfeeding was easier in my mind then the upkeep of bottles. I also didn't pump so basically Bry got a free ride the first year. I intend to make him work it off the rest of Mo's life.
8. The first three weeks or so, I honestly believed Mo would be an only child. Every time I saw a family on t.v. with more then one child, I wondered how these people did it. Don't get me started on the Duggars!
9. I was jealous the first few weeks Bryan went back to work and I was here. I was incredibly lonely and sick of being covered in spit-up. Now, I'm glad I don't have to dress up and be out the door.
10. There are some moms who claim they enjoy the first six weeks of their newborns life. I think these women are full of crap. The first six weeks sucks! If someone told me I could be pregnant for 12 months and then have a 3 month old baby, I would jump all over that proposition.
11. Hormones are a bitch. God bless my husband and family for putting up with me those first 3 months.
12. Mo is a year old and I let her watch television... a lot of television. The tv is always on here. I consider Bry and I to be smart and successful people and at first I felt guilty for keeping the tv on, but then I realized other moms were doing it too. Mo loves Jack's Big Music Show, Blue's Clues, Sesame Street, Little Bill, and Jeopardy. That is not a typo- Mo loves her some Alex Trebeck!
13. Meeting other moms is totally like the first day of high school in the cafeteria at lunch time. Walking into a new class or group, I usually feel that sick to my stomach feeling. I seriously practice my introduction in my head on the way in.
14. Not everyone agrees with my idea of motherhood and that's fine. I have friends that co-sleep, bottle feed, have children without bedtimes, and don't let their children watch television. I've learned to keep my (big) mouth shut unless they ask for advice.
15. I'm new at this mom thing. I figure by kid 4-5 I should be good.
16. Just kidding about 4 or 5 kids.
17. When things are really rough here I remember that fifteen year old girls are having babies and raising them, therefore I, a 30 year old with a Master's degree in education living in suburbia, can handle Mo.
18. Mo really is as awesome as I describe her.

1 comment:

  1. I love lists. I think I am obsessed with them.
    Loved your list! I agree with all of them!


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