Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Back to Work?

My resume has been updated. There have been discussions recently in our house over my return to the working world, and so a few weeks ago, I began the honest search for a new teaching position.
A visible break comes across from April 2008 until the present, leaving the inevitable questions:
Where have I been?
What precipitated the leave from a tenured position?
What have I been doing?

I can answer that in one word:

However, during the interview process I do not think this will be an acceptable explanation.
Those three plus years will be explained away with excuses.
My husband accepted a new position which required us to relocate.
I became pregnant again.
We moved to this area.

Now, I am in a position to begin teaching again.
All of these things are true, but are excuses for this past three and half years.
Why did I give up tenure and a job I loved?

Because, honestly I found something I loved more.
My girls.

Now, I am scared, frightened, sad. Torn even, over whether this is the best decision for our family.
What sacrifices will we have to make with me working full time?
I was a teacher for nearly eight years working at the Kindergarten and First grade level.
I poured my heart and soul into every moment.
Getting there early, staying late.
I was vested, truly vested in my time as a teacher. Hours spent at home cultivating the perfect lessons and activities to motivate and educate. I remember feeling as if those students were my kids for the year, their happiness and success my responsibility.

Thus a problem has emerged.
That spark for teaching is gone.
That motivation that got me out of the bed every morning for my "kids" now has been transferred to my kids. I cannot fathom leaving my twosome for twenty other faces.
What will I miss?
What won't I see?
But the money will be helpful. In time for the holidays, the paycheck will make things that much easier. Then there's the personal fulfillment, walking back in the classroom, doing what I love and am good.

After a week of deep reflection, tears, and unfufilling sleep, a message greeted me yesterday for an interview for a leave of absence position. This opportunity brought the idea to reality. Discussions of daycare, finding balance, and the costs of my return peppered our evening conversation. The realization emerged simply.
I'm just not ready.

So the resume and cover letter sit, accumulating a little more dust. The time between my last position and the present continues to pass, making the possibility of return that much more difficult.
However, this is what's right for me, for our family, right now.


  1. I think this happens a lot with teachers. I'm hoping when I'm reading to go back(it's been almost 7 years now) that it will be okay.

    We're busy getting more experience with kids. :)

  2. I had to go back to work when my son was 3 months old. I hate every minute of not being with him. You are doing the most important and valuable job out there!

  3. I've been fearing that day for three years now. I left work in April 2008 when my daughter was born, and although I work from home at the same time as being with them all day, I dread the day when I might have to leave them.

  4. I never thought I'd give up teaching to be home with my kids, but after a year of part-time I put in for leave. I just couldn't do both. I felt the same way you put it that "my kids" didn't refer to the same people any more! Now I had my kids at home. This year I decided to go back just one day a week, and it feels fabulous to walk into that classroom and do what I love and am good at...and even better to get home and hug my little ones. I'm glad you're following your heart right now, and I bet any district or principal will understand why you took this break whenever you're ready to go back.

  5. Leaving a job or going back to the working world are such tough decisions. I left my job when my son was 4 months old and while I'm grateful to be home somedays I miss the working world. Then other days (most days) I can't fathom going back knowing now what I would be missing at home. Good luck with your decision, you will know when the time is right.

  6. I don't think there is a right or a wrong here - only a what works for you.
    And only you will know when you are ready to make a decision with anything ... and you have to be happy with it.
    In the meantime, just enjoy all those moments ... they grow so fast!!!

  7. I guess I missed this post...I think you will never regret the years you stayed at home with your children.


Let me know what you think.