Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Me versus the sticks

I do believe to truly enjoy reading this one must start....

Great news, right?

However, the action of getting to this happy little place has been quite the roller coaster. After my miscarriage in December, my body and my mind were messed up. 

With support and love from friends, both in real life and through my virtual one, I was able to get my head back into a good place. However, my body would not cooperate. After years of being "regular" with my time of the month, things were off. 

Reassurance from a new OB-GYN group gave me the news I needed to hear. 

Everything was okay, and there was no reason to forgo baby three. 

And the incident with the pregnancy tests happened. 

Yes, tests, as is plural tests. 

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. I have my Master's degree from a fairly reputable university. I pride myself in my knowledge of the goings on in the world, and I consider reading to be a hobby. 

I think I'm smart. 

However, I met my match in the bathroom with this:

Leave it to me to mess up peeing on a stick...


It was a Friday evening when I realize my period never really came as it should have on Wednesday. Like I mentioned prior, I have been quite regular prior to my miscarriage. These months after it is a bit different, yet still around the same time. 

Calling Bryan at work, I relay my suspicions. 

"Well, I gotta pick up some stuff at CVS" he says, "I'll pick up a pregnancy test. I mean, really? I don't think there's any way you could be pregnant again. You're all messed up right now, right?"

I agree.

I wasn't yet feeling one hundred percent back to normal and figure it is my body attempting to regulate itself. My body needs to find it's own homeostasis* so to speak. 
*GRE word I do believe

Arriving home, he tosses me the bag.

"I say do it while I put the girls to bed" he says "This way we'll know and we can go on with our life". 

"Sounds like a plan." I respond.

After kissing their heads and whispering sweet dreams into their ears, back down stairs to the powder room I head. 

Reading the side panel on the box, I do my business, and place the stick on the counter.

Waltzing around the living room, I slowly count down the three minutes.

Returning to find the test, negative.

Deflated, I toss the test into the garbage can. Ascending up the stairs, taking a deep breath in, I open the door to the bedroom. Standing in the doorway, I share my news with Bry.

"Nope". I mutter between gritted teeth. "Negative".

The girls look up. Their eyes glistening and smiles appearing on their face, as they chorus, "Night Mommy".

Blowing them kisses again, I return back downstairs for the night. A new baby not in the cards at this moment.

The next morning, still no period.

Since there were two tests in the box, I decide to try yet again.

My supportive message board friends are always insistent on using first morning urine for pregnancy tests, so this time I oblige. Following what I believe to be the accurate protocol, the pee hits the stick, the protective tab is returned to cover and I wait.

The girls sit mesmorized by their morning television dose, as I count down the three minutes yet again.

"Mommy, I come with you" Maeve asks, as I head back to the bathroom.

"Nope, babes. Mama needs to do this by herself." I say, closing the bathroom door again.

Lifting up the stick, I discover another negative sign in the window.

However, upon further review, my eyes focus on the empty control window.

Picking up the little box, I read,
"If no line appears in the little square box within ten minutes consider the test failed".


Leave it to me to fail a pregnancy test.

Being the ever intellegient and wise woman, into the garbage can I dive, looking for the pregnancy test from the night before. Not surprisingly I discover, no line in the little square box.

I failed this pregnancy test...twice.

Only I manage to screw up peeing on a stick. I find a way to have an error... twice... with the EPT test.

You know, the Error Proof Test?!?

Of course, I refrain from sharing what I believe to be my inadquency with Bryan and instead search for solace and support from my message board community. It is there I am instructed to avoid the high priced pregnancy test for the cheap versions, the one from the Dollar store appear to be the universally approved version.

Luckily, a trip to Wegmans is in the near future and it is there I pick up the cheapest store brand tests I can find.

Again, the girls sit glued to the tube while I excuse myself to the bathroom.

Carefully I unwrap the test, read the directions twice, and do my business.

It's not first morning urine.

It's not an "Error Proof Test".

It's not even a test with words like pregnant or not pregnant.

However, this time in the minute it takes for me to pull up my pants, flush and wash my hands the clear positive sign appears.

I think I'm pregnant, or at least the stick in front of me leads me to this conclusion. Based off my earlier track record, I share my news with Bry and we both decide that redoing the test the following morning is probably the best thing.

Again, first morning urine replicates the results from the afternoon before, another positive pregnancy test.

Yippee! I think?

My excitement is hesitant as I can't help but think about my issues with the first two tests. Thus, only with confirmation from my OB-GYN a few weeks later do I allow my mind to grasp the idea of a third baby.

A third baby due on December 26, 2012. Good planning for tax purposes, poor planning for Christmas!

In conclusion, here's a little math to recap this event:

(2 trips to stores + 4 Pregnancy tests x lots of urine) - confusion of 2 mistaken pregnancy tests + confirmation of 2 positive tests / hesitation and anticipation = 
Baby #3 


  1. My husband is hoping our little one comes a few days early for tax reasons! Congratulations & good luck!

  2. :) i don't know how i missed it the first time around but SUPER DUPER CONGRATS!! :))) Lovie's bday is 12/29 so i know all about tax break birthdays. ;)

  3. Oh, that's so wonderful! Congrats! I suck at pregnancy test too. Erin

    1. And by suck does that mean you mess them up too Erin? Or just a frequent user?

  4. Haha! Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS, fantastic news for you, and secondly - anytime I have taken a pregnancy test I am certain that I have somehow done the wrong thing and failed. And thus will go the overkill route and do about 10 at the same time. :))

  5. Congratulations! My most recent baby was due 12/24, and I was eager to get him out before Christmas :)


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