All Smiles

I remember those first few weeks I had Moira, nursing her in the middle of the night and begging her to smile. I needed something be it a giggle or smile or coo, to let me know that she appreciated me. Maybe it sounds completely selfish, but breastfeeding is not glamorous. It can be a royal pain in the ass at the beginning and early on puts the entire act of feeding the baby on the mother.
I know there are some moms out there who love (or at least claim to love) breastfeeding. So far, for me it has been relatively easy, both Mo and Maeve have taken to it, it's cheap, and requires little prep. Seriously, all I have to do it whip out the boob and meal is there. The first few months, I admit, I really don't like it. I was tempted to write hate, but that's not really true. I believe if I hated it I would have stopped.
Back to my confession about begging Mo to smile, I was going through some serious sleep deprivation at that point. I remember looking at Bryan sleeping blissfully while I burped her yet again and thoughts of pouncing on him and smothering him in the pillow entered my mind. I don't think that qualifies as post-partum depression. I looked at Mo and just said, out loud, please give me something! Within a few days she started smiling and for the most part, kept most of those smiles for me.


This time around, nursing in the middle of the night has not been as bad as before. Maybe it's because I knew what to expect, or maybe it was because for the first 8 weeks Bryan camped out in Mo's future big girl room. Either way, I never had those feelings with Maeve. Am I jaded this time? I don't think so. I think it's more the fact that life is so much crazier when you are a mom to two under two, then when you are a first time mom. Within the past two weeks, Maeve's little personality has really started to blossom. She is a really mellow kid unless she's hungry. She goes from zero to sixty in no time flat and expects to be fed immediately. She has a great disposition and is really laid back. What the best part of these few weeks, aside from longer periods of sleep swaddled in the pack and play, is her smile. She has this little smirk. almost a half smile where one side comes up and her eyes light up. Then there are those full own smiles that if you're lucky often are accompanied by cooing. Already, I think we have a little chatterbox on hand. Those smiles have also gotten under Bry's skin too. Now there's another little girl who can control her father with only her eyes and smile!



(Sorry for the sideways shots!)

Not only are those smiles adorable, but so are her yawns. I never thought I could love anyone as much as Mo, but when I had Maeve that love just expanded. God, am I lucky!