I'm not always goofy...

As I was driving the long commute home today, I think it honestly sunk in that there is a real living being growing in my abdomen. Over the past few weeks I have started to feel him or her kicking and moving around. It's honestly so surreal. In just 4 months there will be a little person depending on me (and Bryan) for all it's wants and needs. While I'm really excited about meeting him or her, I am terrified of the unknown. I feel like I have huge shoes to fill. My parents are and have always been fantastic. People at work have made comments that I'll be a natural with children. What if I'm not? I realize babies don't know any better, but I do. There's so many "what if's" right now as we patiently wait for these last 19 or so weeks to pass.
I realize having a child is going to change everything, but what will this mean for me? I have been defined by my job these past 7+ years. I have my routine, my friends, my classroom, and students. I know, well pretty much, what each day is going bring. I am confident in my role as a teacher. I know I am good at what I do, and I know I'm effective. I make a difference and I enjoy myself daily. Now to understand that in a few months I'm abandoning this for a new job. Deep down, in my heart I know everything will be fine.
I know I am going to screw up things when this child is born. I will make mistakes and the kid is going to cry. I am going to cry and maybe Bryan may even cry, but I know, deep down, it's going to be worth it. This child is going to be the best surprise we never planned for!

Ode To My Breasts

I know, I know- I'm posting twice in one day...but I really need to get this off my chest. (Hehehe!)
Once upon a time you were perky and firm,
As I look down now, my stomach will turn.
You once could be cupped by a hand, so nicely,
Now all these damn, new bras are so pricey!
My cup runneth over and over some more,
I'm worried my nipples will drag on the floor.
It's miracle, I know to be carrying a life,
To have a great husband, to be a good wife,
But honestly ladies whose breasts got so big,
Did you really think this was part of the gig?
To look like a native in National Geographic Mag,
And to think when it's over that's when they'll sag.
So fondly I bid farewell to my girls once small,
Now I work on my balance to prevent any falls.
So now my perky breasts will remain just a ghost,
Until I look back and laugh at this post.

Thanksgiving Rewind

For the fourth consecutive year, Bryan has taken it upon himself to cook dinner. Of course, I his ever loyal sous chef, took my role seriously. Really, imagine all the extra time it takes for him to peel carrots, sweet potatoes, and to chop celery and garlic? I am indespensible! I can't lie, he makes a mean dinner. The turkey was yummy, and I can't stop raving about the sweet potatoes and corn bread stuffing. My parents and his mom got along swimmingly as usual, and my 24 year old brother, spent less time on his cell phone than I anticipated. We truly are lucky to have so many good things to be thankful for this year. The only thing missing besides Casey in Korea was my sister.

However with that being said, this negative turns into a positive today. Why, you ask? We get to do Thanksgiving dinner again today! I've taken to calling it Thanksgiving part deux. My super talented and intelligent sister Jeanna is a first year resident at DuPont Children's Hospital and yesterday she was on-call. It was weird her not being here, but as I'm typing I know she's making the trip up looking forward to the cornbread stuffing, asparagus, and the divine Death by Chocolate cake that we indulged in yesterday. Yippee! Two times the food.

Why Blog?

So, why am I here writing? I mean everybody blogs now, right? Even people who I don't think can even read let alone write are blogging. So, why me? I'm just an ordinary girl living in Jersey trying to figure out life. Where should I start? How about the guy that did this to me!
It's amazing that somehow I ended up married to a wonderful guy who shares in my twisted sense of humor and makes me laugh endlessly. I met Bryan the first week of college at we've be together since. It's really weird if you think about it. I found my soulmate at Boland Hall dorm, the same place where countless freshmen lost their virginity, drank abundantly, partied hard, and began their college careers. When I tell people we've been together that long, they laugh. That's pretty much the two of us- always laughing, even when it's inappropriate. This kid really has no chance in normalcy!
Along the way to here- pregnant me it went a little like this: we graduate, I get a job teaching first grade, Bryan decides to do the law school thing, we shack up together, he passes the bar (both the actually Legal Bar and a few drinking establishments....but that's another post altogether), he got a job, we get engaged, I started grad school, we get married, he gets another job, I kept teaching, he gets another job, we move to Central Jersey, I almost die...really... (another future post), we spend a year blissful, we plan the delayed honeymoon (another future post), and then I pee on a stick and it all changes. I'm knocked up waiting for the arrival of our child while attempting to finish my Master's and Bryan is considering what way his career should go. I won't lie. While I'm excited to meet this little person that makes me pee all the time, I'm also scared to death about what having a child is going to be like.
I guess I'll end it now with a quote from my mother-in-law repeated multiple times over 2 or was three martinis the night we told her she was going to be a grandmother. "Babies are a Blessing".