Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bathroom Bully

Mo hates the potty.
She will be three on April 1 and while most of her friends are wearing their big girl panties, gladly telling or showing Hello Kitty! or Cinderella my kid will tell you "I like diapers". If you ask her about "big girl panties" she'll tell you that she has Yo Gabba Gabba, Hello Kitty, Dora the Explorer, Minnie Mouse, & Kai Lan panties, but they have yet to be worn. They sit, freshly washed, in her top dresser drawer, waiting for her little tush. She flat out refuses to wear them and starts crying hysterically if I mention the P-word.
I have tried bribery - M&M's, stickers, reward charts, & a brand new Nickeloden DVD sits still in it's package. I have tried embarrassing her with stories of how this friend goes on the potty, and this friend wears these big girl panties, and it falls on deaf ears. She's even seen a few friends panties and says "Oooh, they're cool!" and in the next breath, "I no go on the potty Mommy". I even tried forcefully holding her on the toilet after waking up dry from a nap. She cried "No mommy, I no like the potty!" We have a mini potty which she picked and a potty seat, which again she picked. I think Maeve plays with the mini potty more then Mo.
My kid is smart, and I wonder if she's playing me.
I've read a plethora of information,advice, and suggestions related to potty training. There's a three day plan, that supposedly will get your kid potty trained in "ONLY three days". After 2 hours, 2 accidents, and dragging her kicking and screaming to the toilet, I abandoned it. I brought out the behavior chart with stickers which I had used successfully with tons of kids when I taught Kindergarten & first grade. Apparently, stickers =/= motivate my kid. I tried food, or actually the promise of gummy worms if she SAT on the toilet. NOPE! I bought a variety of books on the joys of using the potty, but she could care less.
My kid already has mastered the art of negotiation. Most of her diaper changes now involve some form of the following conversation.
Me: "Mo, we got to get you in panties!"
Mo: "I know Mommy."
Me: "When are you going to use the potty?"
Mo: "I know! How about after (insert various event here)!"
These events include Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Maeve's birthday and most recently Bry's birthday. As you can imagine, they have come and gone, and still the diapers remain.
Bry is worried we missed the window for learning.
I laugh, because I imagine if there was some magic window of opportunity to teach potty training, then there would be a bunch of grown ups in Depends!
I am feeling a bit conflicted. I feel like I shouldn't push her too much. I have heard from quite a few people not to push her, that she'll let me know when she's ready. God willing, it's soon, because she can't go to preschool in September in diapers. The other part of me is disappointed and I feel like I'm failing a bit in the mom department. She has achieved so many developmental milestones ahead of the curve, and is truly a smart, funny, and talkative child. I feel like she is too smart NOT to be potty trained. On top of this, her physical appearance only adds to my anxiety. She's tall for her age, and so I also feel like people may be judging her (and me for that matter), thinking she's really three years or four years and in diapers still.
These are the moments I wish I could just pawn her off to someone for a week or two and magically get her in panties and capable of using the toilet. I don't think I'm asking for too much here. Hopefully it clicks for her soon, because while I would do anything for my kid, changing crappy diapers for a three year old is getting old!

1 comment:

  1. It is like reading my life right now! Taylor is obviously the same exact age and I've tried everything! I've even bribed her with M&Ms just to SIT on the potty. I tried the 3 day method as well....9, yes NINE accidents in 45 minutes. Apparently she holds it so much that she lets out a little at a time...after she gets off the potty. I actually had a talk with our pediatrician because I was worried about her the same way you are with Mo. I told her about her aversion towards the potty and how negative she was against it. But how she needs to be trained for preschool in September (this year they are OK with diapers). My ped told me that kids with this can have very tramatic experiences and big problems going to the bathroom for years if we push it. She rather Taylor start preschool late, after she is potty trained in her own time, than push the training. Basically...I feel your pain. If I find something that works, I'll let you know! Hang in there!


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