Monday, August 5, 2013

Oh, No, Baby!

Can you hear that?

The sound of nothing. 

I'm sitting in the living room at nine in the morning alone.

The bigger girls are with their Uncle Joe-Joe eating a nice healthy breakfast of yogurt & chocolate cookie pop tarts. Fuel for their fun day with Popsie and Joey as they head to Dutch Wonderland.  Margo naps upstairs leaving me alone with my computer. 


Joey and his lovely wife Colleen are expecting their very first baby in December. As we dropped of Mo & Maeve yesterday, Bry and I shared stories of pregnancy, birth and parenthood with the new parents to be. 

I hope we didn't scare them too much. 

It was that conversation yesterday that inspired my list for today's Monday Listicles.  

There are lots of interesting things floating around the universe for babies now. Things that are totally impractical and seem to have no functional use, however can be found at places like Babies R Us, and on sale on Zulily. I don't doubt that Kim & Kanye's baby registry were filled with these sorts of items. However, for most of us, these things are impractical and no necessary. 

Thus, Colleen, I have this list all for you and any other new moms to be:

Ten Impractical Things for Baby

1. Hooded Bibs
How can you take this seriously? 
Furthermore, which kid will keep this on? 

Because one's sense of smell isn't enough to tell if a diaper is dirty?



3. Any white outerwear
White = No
Simple as that. 

Cashmere, really?


5. Baby Heels
No words. 



6. Faux Pigtail headband
Bald babies are beautiful! These headbands, not so much. 


Excess in the bathroom. 

For the baby boy who has everything. 

Imagine whipping this out at the playground? 
Goes perfect with a container of fish.


10. An Alarm Clock
Because you'll never sleep in again.







10 comments:

  1. wow I haven't seen most of these-- dumb. proof that there are people out there with too much $.

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  2. HAHAHA #10! I haven't used an alarm clock in three years...How old is my oldest, you say? Why he's three years old. LOLOLOLOL

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  3. OK...those baby heels ummmmm definitely NO! I did have to laugh at the faux pigtails. :D

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  4. This is a great idea! I thought of doing a baby one, too, but mine wouldn't have been funny. You did a marvelous job finding things.

    The hooded bib made me laugh the hardest. yes, my babies had a knack for getting food in their hair. Still, there's no way I'd make him wear one of these. (Of course, I'm also the mom who didn't use any bib at all.)

    Baby heels?!?! The poor baby's legs look like Miss Piggy's.

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  5. first of all love the title of your blog...LOVE IT. my alarm clock is my son!

    who the frig invented those products...What in God's name were they thinking...CRAZY

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  6. I love it! Great advice for parents-to-be!

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  7. That hooded bib is ridiculous. My mouth actually dropped when I saw the baby heels (nooooooooooooo - so wrong on so many levels). Also, I cannot STAND seeing fake hair on little babies...

    Great list!

    Happy Listicles Monday!

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  8. ha - I guess if you have too much money and have to get rid of it, why not, right?
    I remember the wipes warmer. now, on one hand - I do think it's a genius idea because who wants a cold cloth on their backside? not me. but, you can't take it with you, so at some point - babes' gonna get a cold wipe on their backside anyway.
    discard.

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  9. hilarious and disturbing....baby heels?

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Let me know what you think.