Monday, October 15, 2012

What's changed?

I look at pictures from when I was younger, and think, "damn, why did I waste time thinking I was fat?"

Honestly though, it's crazy looking back at old photos and generally reminiscing about life before adulthood, and by "Adulthood" I mean the time before mortgages, children, & droopy boobs. Stasha over at the Good Life's weekly meme Monday Listicles gives us an opportunity to brainstorm and list. This week it was Christine, over at Random Reflectionz asked us to list up Ten Ways you are either the same or different than your younger self.

Inspired by this list, I have decided to branch off a bit, and offer the following.

Ten Words Whose Definitions Have Changed Over the Years

1. Friday Night

Then:
Evening begins around ten p.m. and includes multiple alcoholic drinks, suggestive dancing, and a wardrobe that accentuates curves and boobs.

Now:
Pizza or take out, pajamas, and passing out into a bowl of ice cream while sprawled on the sofa while watching Fringe. After maintaining one is not exhausted, one succumbs to the comfort bed before eleven o'clock news theme has finished.

2. Sleeping Late

Before:
Making it to McDonald's in time for breakfast is a victory. More likely than not, brunch at the local bagel shop before noon is the norm.

After:
7:30 am M-F
And because it's the weekend, 7 am.

3. Hair

Before:
Stylish cut and highlights to add depth and dimension to one's hair. Daily blow out and style, a must.

After:
Cut to slim the face, and color to hide the grays. Blow out when necessary, to the point the kids ask, "Whatcha do to your hair mama?"

4. Dining Out

Before:
8:30 reservation, party of two, cocktails, appetizers, entrees, desserts with after dinner drinks. A hefty price tag and a three hour meal.

After:
If we're lucky, 6:30 party of four, bread and crackers to hold over the two while their chicken fingers and grilled cheese is being prepared, while Mom & Dad play rocks, paper, scissors to decide who gets to drink!
That of course, is the scenario if we're not eating at a diner or Panera.

5. Halloween

Before:
A time to be a slutty school girl a la Britney Spears, sexy nurse, or sport some other inappropriately short and almost indecent costume, while attending a Halloween party with others in inappropriately nearly indecent costumes, engaging in keg stands, jello shots, and beer pong.

After:
Staring in disbelief as one's four year old points to inappropriately, nearly indecent Halloween costume in catalog and maintains that that is the costume of her choice this year. Celebrating the change to Jessie from Toy Story, while putting off the anxiety that will come with Halloween costume shopping with a tween.

6. Working Out

Before:
Arriving at the gym after work, to attend various classes with favorite teacher at whichever time listed on the schedule.

After:
Does running up the stairs count?
Because attempting to make it to a class at the gym that doesn't interfere with school pick up/drop off, meal time or nap time, is next to impossible.

7. Birthdays

Before:
A time to drink and party and eat some cake!

After:
Screw the party, give me the cake!

8. Fertility

Before:
Two Words: The Pill


After:


9. Minivan

Before:
Why?
I'll never.

After:
Insert Hallelujah chorus here: 

How does one with children live without it?

10. My Body

Before:
I need to loose a few pounds.
I think I'm attractive some days.
Thank God, my boobs are looking good.

After:
I need to loose a lot of weight after this next kid pops out.
It's amazing what a shower, a little make up, and a blow out can do for one's appearance.
God, my boobs are enormous right now!

What's changed or stayed the same for you over the years?
Link up!

19 comments:

  1. Yesterday I ran up the stairs with a load of laundry in my arms. After throwing the clothes on the bed, I had to lay down next to them before folding them. I was out of breath. I would just die for time for a fun exercise class!

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  2. This cracked me up because it's so true about life before and after marriage and kids! I never did cave on the minivan thing though. ;)

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  3. I love the way you did this list! The dinner thing certainly changes after kids! Actually, so many of our changes can be attributed to the addition of kids!

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  4. Haha!! Oh, Jackie, thanks for the Monday laugh!! You're funny :)

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  5. Yes! Yes! Yes! To everything on this list.

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  6. Very true! Not fair that you get to sleep until 7:30 M-F, though. And I dream of the day that I can downsize to a normal minivan again.

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  7. Oh my! You nailed this one! I seriously laughed all the way through. Why do the kids wake up earlier on the weekend? I think it's just to torment us a little more.

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  8. This was great. So many of them ring true to me. Especially the early to be one. How did I ever go out and party? Makes me tired thinking about it.

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  9. oh the dinner thing. I could almost cry just thinking about it.
    with 3 kids, we don't even try anymore. Friday nights are movie/pizza night for the kids so we can actually, possibly, just maybe finish an entire sentence.

    Still insist on the hair though. the Crown of Glory must be preserved!! :)

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  10. I love, love, love your list! Especially the ones about Friday night, dining out, and the minivan. I love my minivan!

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  11. Too funny. What a great idea to approach it as a before/after. We finally got a minivan around New Year's (we have three kids aged 6 to 16 and survived until now without one). We were determined not to like it, but I really do enjoy driving it. Especially as a short person, since I feel so tall when I'm driving it!

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  12. This list is awesome. Seriously, right on.

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  13. I can totally relate to this, except we have four not two. Our girls are Moira (10) and Maeve (2) also!

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  14. You cracked me up! And I will take automatic sliding doors and lift-gates over a convertible any day. Convenience is sexy!

    Ellen

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  15. Your list is awesome! I find myself nodding in agreement to every single thing!

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  16. What a madly awesome list. I almost wrote awesome boobs. Because now I am thinking aout how big and fab mine were when nursing. Ah, where were we? Oh yes, I second all ten. You made me laugh. I think I will end my day with this post. Thanks girl.

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  17. LMAO...what a great twist to the list and how true are ALL of them except for the boobs. I never had boobs. :(

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Let me know what you think.