Nearly Popped

It's not Monday.
Nor is it a listicle day.
Today's as I hit week 37 of pregnancy I am inspired.

Perhaps it's the kid the size of a winter melon growing in my womb that has brought forth this need to share?

What the hell is a winter melon and why is it in my uterus? 

However, regardless of the inspiration, these last few days a top ten list emerged:

9 Things that Currently Suck 

1. Santa doesn't take a holiday. 

Fact: December 25 is Christmas. 

The day isn't going to change just because I'm officially due the next day. Mama's had to get her shop and wrap on hella early this year to ensure that all this crap is done. Yes, in an ideal world Daddy could have done it all, but really is that fair? 

2. Daylight Savings BLOWS!

The past few days the weather has been lovely. The girls could have most definitely spent hours playing outside after nap time, however there was one major obstacle in this adventure. 

Darkness. 

What the hell? Why is it so dark so early? 

Instead, we're stuck in the house because it's too damn dark. 

3. Getting Dressed in the Morning

37 weeks pregnant + long torso = NO CLOTHES that FIT!

Inevitably, without fail, every day, the bottom of my belly hangs out, kind of like Chunk from Goonies. I guess I should just break out in the Truffle Shuffle, because things will be getting worse before it gets better, as I still have 2 weeks left until this kid comes. 

Thanks Bry for letting me raid your t-shirt collection for sleeping. 

4. My Body

Stretchmarks, swollen ankles, and indigestion - Oh my!

Throw in frequent trips to the bathroom and a daily dependence on Tums and that pretty much sums it up. 

My body is all kinds of messed up. 

5. DMV

Imagine this: One is 37 weeks pregnant when she realizes, "oh my! My license is due to expire the end of the month., the same month I will be having kid three. Crap, I need to get my 6 points together for identification and whoa!
Do I need to get a new photo?

I need to get a new photo? 

I NEED TO GET A NEW PHOTO!"
My bloated, 37 week pregnant face is now enshrined for the next 4 years on my driving license. 

Jokes on me!

6. Answers

No. I am not having twins. 

No. I'm not about to have the baby today. 

No. We don't know what we're having. 

No. We're not hoping for a boy this time around. 

No. My husband won't be upset if it's a girl. 

Yes. I'm sure I know my due date. 

Yes, you are an idiot. 

I also wonder how you even figured out how to reproduce with your significant other. 

If only I could respond to people this way. 

7.  Indigestion

Yes. 

I already wrote about my dependence on Tums, but indigestion is also killing me, 

or at least my dining options. 

I miss you everything bagels. 

I'm sorry I had to skip out on you, dear grilled onion soup. 

Mexican, Chinese, & spices in general -  Love you and hope to taste you soon. 

Oh grease! Oh flavorful food! Oh yummy food! 

I so miss you, and can't wait to taste you soon. 

8. Non Stress Tests

What a pain in the ass? They suck when the only real reason your doctor seems to give for you having to have them is, well, you've gotten fat! No high blood pressure. No advanced maternal age. No high or low amniotic fluid level. No protein in my urine. 

Just seems I got a little to chubby this time around, and so weekly trips to the NST straps I go. 

For the record: I've gained pretty much the same amount as I did with Maeve. 

9. Sleep

The first trimester kicked my ass. I couldn't get enough sleep, and thankfully Mo still napped. Now I've hit the third trimester wall. I sleep crappy at night. I can't get comfortable. I wake up repeatedly to pee and because i have to roll over as all the weight crushes my hip bones.  I need to nap during the day. One problem: Mo doesn't nap too much anymore. 

Thank you DVR, On Demand, Scooby Doo, and Electric Company for giving me 26 minutes of nap time. 

1 Thing That Really Doesn't 

I am so thankful for my friend D due on January 1 with her third child as well. 

Having a friend who is going through exactly the same thing during the same time has been a Godsend.

I can bitch. 

I can moan. 

I can complain and

 feel zero guilt because she's going through the same thing.
I do hope she does not get too skinny too fast after this next kid is born. I know it isn't a competition, but I can't have her looking too good too soon, while I look like a hot mess. 

So that's it, a bunch of the bad and a little of the good. Before the month ends they'll be another member of this family, Christmas will have come and gone, and we'll enter into another calendar year. Until then, I wait and rest and try to get things in order.